Monday, June 24, 2013

This Is Me.

There are a few things that people obviously don't get about me.

First off I will piss you off to no end if you don't understand that if I'm giving you a hard time, 90% of the time I really am just kidding, or being extremely blunt, but I am never intentionally insulting people.

Second, if you have never done anything to hurt me in any way I have no reason to dislike you therefore I don't hate you, in truth I probably think of you as a good friend/acquaintance. I think that I got that reputation in high school because I hated drugs so openly, truthfully one of the people I regarded as one of my best friends was a druggie and I would have done anything for the guy. I truly believed that he was one of the most genuine people I had ever met when he wasn't on drugs, and I still believe that.

Thirdly, if you don't like me, or have a problem with something I've said to you, tell me to my face, I have enough respect to tell you if it irks me enough, can't you have to same amount of respect and decency to do the same? When people talk behind my back, which I know happens quite often, I loose a lot of respect for them, because seriously, have the gonads to say it to my face, truthfully I probably have no idea that whatever I am doing is bugging you and I would try to stop doing that around you or change if it's something I need to work on.

Last but not least, living in Mormon town St. George, those people who have known me long enough, obviously don't understand, I have my own way of "shouting the truth" I believe the Mormon church is the church I will always claim to be apart of, but at the moment I am finding myself, and in Utah I really dislike going to the church. Side note, when my family was in New York, now it was over 6 years ago, we went to a Mormon church on Sunday to catch a friend and hopefully plan to meet up later, we were in our normal street clothes, no one looked at us like we were terrible people, no one stared, we weren't considered out of place to them. I wish that was how it is here. Many will take this as an insult but I am going to say it anyway so bare with me, I think that some people are judgmental and stuck up. When I have gone to church people always say "oh I'm so glad to see you here," and "I really hope to see you more often," like I have been doomed to hell until I start going regularly and go to all the activities, it's not like they never see me outside of church either. But seriously to end this rant take a second, a real good second and look at the way you judge me, how when you see me wearing a "immodest" shirt or dress, you won't even say hi because it seems that those people think I'm going to rub off on them like some disease, which in turn makes me even more inclined to avoid seeing those people in church. It's like, how would you feel if you walked into a room of people you knew and no one said hi because they didn't approve of the way you did our hair or the shoes you were wearing, stupid worldly stuff that they teach every day in church not to judge people by..

well this is the end of my rant thanks for reading you may have laughed you may have gotten a little disgruntled, these are my feelings about the subject and I would love to chit chat more about it if you feel the need to understand more of why I have some of these feeling so feel free my friends. I mean no offence to anyone in particular so please do not take any.

This is exactly how I think,

Open your eyes, look within.
Are you satisfied with the life you're living?
- Bob Marley

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