Saturday, August 17, 2013

Nothing Good.

Sometimes I just feel empty inside and I don't know how to fix that. It really sucks. I just want to sleep but I can't I've grown up too much to do that. That's the part that sucks the most. It's like I'm heartbroken over no one and I really am I don't miss anyone from my past still living. Xbox doesn't even touch these feelings. I'm pretty positive I've explained why I play Xbox before but if not, it's one of the only places I can go to when episodes like this that are lesser happen.

It's worse than depression its like mania but with out some of the worst thoughts.

Someone once told me to get over it and you know what that person is the most fucked up person I've met in my entire life. Because of him I never figured out how to deal with my real problems and hurt, and its gonna change but not tonight. Tomorrow maybe. I just wish I could call my best friend and talk a normal conversation about how I miss my family and how my grandma is, in reality, slowly giving up in front of my own eyes.

I have always hated that I can read people because I knew when the doctor said my mom was on life support and when my grandma called two times now to tell me that I lost another one of my heros.

I don't know how to explain all of it all the time but I try.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

I Dare You

If you lie to me, you are dead to me.
Don't expect me to forgive you either.

Sometimes it really gets to me, seriously, lie straight to my face..good idea it's not like I don't know. I don't see why anyone thinks it is beneficial to me or anyone around.

This way I have been living lately is if I have a problem I solve it myself. I don't blame it on someone else and I have tried not to complain about it. I may not be happy while trying to fix the problem, but I've been trying to keep my mouth shut about it.

I just think that if people really want to be happy they will fix their own problems, or do their best to do so. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing to have help, but to complain so much as to have someone do it for you is not right.

Anyway I just wanna say think about what you do before you do it and what you say before you say it.