Life's More Meaningful

A little death makes life more meaningful.

Today I was listening to a song by +44 and I heard these lyrics and just thought to myself wow it's true. It's terrible to realize that I did not appreciate my family before everything happened over these past two years. I truthfully never even imagined in my wildest nightmares what actually happened. It seems like I talk about loss a lot and if you have never really lost someone you won't really understand why. I learned quickly that when I held it all in it created more damage within myself.

I just want to say that every relation I create is meaningful to me. Even if it is just a wave I would notice if it wasn't there.

I have never been more happy in my life. Heartbroken but happy. I have many questions I need to start answering because sometimes I just don't know and I'm a happy ignorant crazy person. Truthfully I love my life and I'm happy. I just hope that people realize that memories are irreplaceable and I know I missed out on so many experiences and I have come to terms with that.

Thank You.

I just want to say with out the friends in my life I don't think I would be anywhere near what I have accomplished. I really just want to thank all of those people I can call a friend for helping me with my homework and procrastinating with me, for letting me fall asleep while in an Xbox party for the past 3 years, for texting me back when I'm having a melt down, for going to lunch with me, for being a friend at work, and for just being there every once in a while.

The Chronicles of Death.

Its so terrible to see my poor fish fight so hard for his life and in the end won't make it until morning. No one really knows why its so difficult to deal with but I'll explain now. When my mom was in the hospital for the first time I bought a beta fish (this is where my fish love came from). A week before she passed my fish died. So I associate that..it's probably weird yeah I can't control how long they live as long as I keep them fed and clean..it just hurts.

I know I'm a little over dramatic about this, but now you might understand a little more.