Monday, October 15, 2012


So as I keep thinking to myself what happened, I realize that life happened.

School is what is happening and work. These things are freaking time consuming. Some of my favorite people in the whole world are the ones I work with or met from work. So this is my tribute to them love you Lin's family!

I think that I'm growing up now. My dad and Kylah (my niece) are the two people that keep me going and so happy. I seem to forget how important my family is to me and then something happens that makes me realize again that I don't know where I would be without them.

As one story ends another begins and it always seems to come with loss over the past 2 years I have lost three important people to me and now a fourth is leaving to a better place. I don't think that anything will ever lighten this load but I think that it will be easier to bare the burden as time goes on.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Life As We Know It.

So here it goes. Life changes as quickly as a blink of an eye. I lost every thing I knew this past weekend and truthfully the last few days were horrible, but last night I was reading and thinking to myself, (some people told me this) life moves on and if you don't move with it, you will be left behind. I think that I was going to be left behind this last week, well I am behind in homework and school but that can be caught up, what I am trying to say is that I now realize that things happen for a reason even if I never know the reason, I know that to move forward from it is the best answer.

It's never easy to lose your best friend but sometimes they weren't supposed to be your best friend in the first place. I realize now after talking to CJ that I was never number one and truthfully that is not the type of relationship I want to be in again. I love him with all my heart but he is right it will never work because we want different things.

I feel like I was the problem at times but then I remember it wasn't me it just wasn't how it was meant to be. It still hurts but now I know in time I will be ok with it. as people talk about their ex boyfriends or girlfriends it seems that most are hostile but I don't have a reason to be and I think that is why it hurts that he won't talk to me at all. I understand why not though.

By looking at this as a good thing it makes it easier, I wish easy enough but of course not. It was two years of my life that was happiness with CJ. Of course it will be hard I know that. It is sad that it has changed so much but in the end it will work out or it's not the end. I think that I may be a little lost for a while but I will find my way again and I think that this is a good quote to end on and I am going to try and spread my light through both ways.

“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” – Edith Wharton