Sometimes I just think to myself, you are going in the right direction, and sometimes I think..what is going on?! Today is one of those days when I know what I am headed towards is what I really want.
Well I started this post about a week ago now..and I keep thinking to myself do I really want to be an accountant...well DUH! I love it truthfully.
I am totally convinced that I will never get married as long as I live in Saint George, because, no offense, guys that live here are either assholes or super judgmental, and think I'm some crazy jack Mormon because I don't actually go to church..that doesn't mean I don't believe. No need to start that rant though...
that basically explains what I am thinking about my life at the moment and that in the end I will end up in either Nevada, New York or somewhere by the Great Lakes for my job. I really think that is how it will be. I may be completely wrong but I keep thinking about where I will be in five years and it includes visits to Saint George, but not living here. There are too many bad memories and tastes left over from here. Like how I will never enter Dixie Regional again unless I am forcibly taken there, and how every place I go reminds me of my childhood and watching all my favorite bands play over and over at the electric theater..with all those people I haven't spoken to in years. The changes in my life have all been because of one thing or another that's bad in Saint George.
Moving far away is not an option for now. My Grandpa John and Grandma Donna are not in the greatest health and I want to spend all the time I can with them because I missed so much of it when I was in the teenager stages of my life. I am going to make it so I can't hate myself when anyone in my family leaves this life anymore. Seriously, I spend so many nights thinking why didn't I go to the movies when my mom asked or go on a drive...I did when I was younger, but not when it really mattered, not when I could have learned the most from my wonderful mother.
All that I am,
or hope to be,
I owe to my angel mother.
-Abe Lincoln
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