Life.

All I want is to be happy, but guess what, I'm not sure where to go from here. Yesterday was probably the worst day in a while i somehow failed my psychology test after the fact that I studied for over 4 hours..yeah good story. I'm sort of at a loss now and it is a little discouraging to work so hard for something and truthfully I wish I could just give up. Although I know I can't do that. Thinking this over makes me wonder what I really want to do anymore. It's like I can excel in all the degree specific classes but I can't do anything in the general classes right. I'm just a little lost and don't know what to do about it. I'm not sure that the situation I'm in is good or not or if I will be happy in the end. I just want things to be stable in life, and it seems I can't figure out what makes me feel that way.

It's About Time.

When I am alone all day I get to think a lot. Every Monday it seems that I go through this little battle in my head of what I need to do and what I need to change in my life. Sometimes I end up loosing the fight and have some anxiety by the end of the night and other times, like today I get my head straight. I am trying to focus more on school and it's working lately. As the semester is quickly going by, the tests are getting harder, but the studying is easier.

 I Miss my cousin Sierra and my brother Zachary Grant. Those two people have helped make me the person I am today and I never get to see them anymore. I wish they were here at dixie. It seems that we are all growing up so quickly that we can't create those memories of riding in the car with too many people and blasting the music so loud that no one can hear when we get out anymore. I miss those days and those people.

Yesterday was a great day, CJ and I went to Gunlock and played in the river for a couple of hours with the puppy. It was super fun I learned how to skip rocks better (This is CJ's rock) and all in all everything was awesome there. It was CJ's birthday this week! Happy 20th! He seems to think he is getting old. But guess what, I'm 20 this year too. I don't mind it I like having the responsibility...sometimes. Sometimes it's a little more stressful than I care for, but I realize it's part of growing up.

When I think of spending time with my boyfriend it makes me all giddy still, yes, I'm still that girl that talks about him like we're in high school. But more seriously he can help me through anything and lately he has really proved that. With my high anxiety and mood swings of late he has been there through it all. I would seriously like to thank him and the other people who have helped me through the past year and a half. It means a lot to me, you know who you are, Lins family. 

Hugs and Kisses. Miss you Mommy

Liana Dawn Gardella.