It seems I can write about anything but the school work I am assigned.
I think that the situation has gotten worse since I started my second semester and I'm also sick and not getting better. It's like every time I see the light at the end of the tunnel it starts to fade again.
Maybe if he acted like he was proud of me I just might believe in myself. Maybe if he didn't act like everything I do isn't good enough I would be happy with what I'm doing, but truthfully it makes me want to do just the opposite of what my dad thinks I need to be studying, and for more truth, Ceramics is what I am and will always be interested in, even if it gets me no where in life, it makes me happy.
How are you supposed to be happy when the one person you hope to make proud will never be proud? It's that void where you can't control what is missing but it will never come back. This would be why I have such a hard time with my mom being gone at times, like today. She always went out of her way to tell me she that I was doing good, and it will never be the same if anyone else tries to tell me how proud they are, simply it helps, except it isn't from the person I am trying so hard for, but will never be good enough.
Well maybe it isn't true, but that's how I feel. If there are so many people who say he's proud of me, why can't he say one good thing to me himself? Why is it all I hear is, "You need to get rid of those pots they take up too much room" or "Why didn't you get a better grade than that?"
Anyway, great day as you can tell I just got pushed over the edge again. I had to put it somewhere and I don't think too many people read this regularly if I don't post it on Facebook.
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