Up All Night.

19 in a little over a month. I can't believe how fast time flys by sometimes. I remember playing Beenie Babys with my best friend and eating watermelon and muddy bears on the 24th with the whole neighborhood like it was last year. So updates.


It's hot in Saint George like always. I miss my mom like always.


Last night we had a bonfire at Carson's house that was pretty fun. Story behind that, it was supposed to be out past the dam road ya know...well we got out there and no one brought a lighter so we obviously had no way to start a fire. so technically it was just a fire in his fire pit. But not gonna lie good music and good people create one good night. Oh I still agree chocolate and strawberry marshmallows are weird.

I tend to think about things that mean nothing but help to figure things out when I sit and star into the fire and watch the ashes fly away and the embers shine in the dark. 

Sucker for Lovers.

I truly know i have the person I want to be with. Not gonna lie he is amazing. I'm not just gonna post a full blog completely about him even though thats the title.

So when I think through the times I've had in my life I know I don't think of a lot of them because of the people that were in them. It's tough knowing things have to change when they shouldn't have to, but you know they need to.

People throw the L word around too easily these days. Not to say I am not an abuser of it either. I have found that when I mean something is when I act upon the subject. Not when I just say it.  I think that goes for everything in my life lately since I've lost my mother. and here I go crying again.

I know I have kind of become a hermit living at ceramics and my house except when I work. I want my friends to know that I'm still trying. Yeah we only ever hang out at night, and that is when everything is harder for me. I'm sorry I haven't been around much but thats the hard part about everything at night I either have to be alone or I can't be alone and that probably makes less sense than most of my blogs but I just mean the second that sun sets my mind starts racing about all the things I didn't get to say or do when my mom was here. I don't expect anyone to really understand either.

To end today, I am using my very unoriginal favorite quote,

"In times of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act."

-George Orwell