Comprehension.

Yesterday was shit just so everyone knows. (:

Well I don't know why but sometimes I just want my momma and I'll sit at the cemetery unhappy for a good while.

Sometimes I'll play the blame game and sometimes I'll cry for hours about all the times I missed out on. Then sometimes I'm better than ever before. None of this is great though, I really think people believe my smiles 90% of the time. There are some that still see through them. But I keep telling myself they don't and they still let me act.

I miss being able to call my bestie up and bugging him for hours about nothing I actually need to say it always calms my nerves but you know, knowing hes out in OK doing what he was meant to do is an awesome thought and I wouldn't want it any other way for him!

I feel like I'm always super confused about everything right now in my life and truthfully I'm pretty okay with it. I know two things forsure. Ceramics is my muse and I have some of the best people in my life some are part time and that's okay but those people that are there at 4 in the morning are the ones I know will be there forever.

I know I've said it a million times but seriously the relationships I make no matter how small mean something huge to me.

I know I talk about all the regrets that I have and you know the only thing I need to remind myself that if I would have changed something I wouldn't be who I am today, is my favorite song Rite of Spring by Angels and Airwaves. I wrote this top part earlier today, and later today I was listening to my iPod and that song came on and it reminded me, no matter how badly I wish I could have spent more time with my momma, I wouldn't be who I am today if the story was changed even slightly.

And you know what. I really do like who I am becoming and I've gotten to the point where I'm comfortable to say that if you don't like it, I truly do not give a shit. I know who I want to still become and it's my goal to get there.