Sometimes I just feel empty inside and I don't know how to fix that. It really sucks. I just want to sleep but I can't I've grown up too much to do that. That's the part that sucks the most. It's like I'm heartbroken over no one and I really am I don't miss anyone from my past still living. Xbox doesn't even touch these feelings. I'm pretty positive I've explained why I play Xbox before but if not, it's one of the only places I can go to when episodes like this that are lesser happen.
It's worse than depression its like mania but with out some of the worst thoughts.
Someone once told me to get over it and you know what that person is the most fucked up person I've met in my entire life. Because of him I never figured out how to deal with my real problems and hurt, and its gonna change but not tonight. Tomorrow maybe. I just wish I could call my best friend and talk a normal conversation about how I miss my family and how my grandma is, in reality, slowly giving up in front of my own eyes.
I have always hated that I can read people because I knew when the doctor said my mom was on life support and when my grandma called two times now to tell me that I lost another one of my heros.
I don't know how to explain all of it all the time but I try.
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