Love & Loss

And if young love is just a game, then I must have missed the kick off.

I feel like, how I do most days. Happy to be alive. You know how you don't talk to one of your old best friends as often as you like, well I am feeling that today. It's insane how life changes so quickly. It sucks to be that person in a friend group that is not wanting to be married, or getting married.

Sometimes I think dang I wish I was in a relationship, and then I again hit myself in the head and think why should I force something that can change my entire life forever?! I think that it's young love and it's not a bad thing but I also don't believe it's very healthy for me. I remember believing that nothing could change the way I feel and you know what something did, my own reality of the situation made me realize, on a couple situations, what the hell was I thinking the whole time, even my family and friends were openly against those idiots. Now it's sort of comical.

Not to brag about myself, but every now and then I give myself a high five for having my shit together. I'm 20 with my AS in Business with a little over 3 semesters left for my BS in Accounting. Going to go to UNLV for my masters. Never done a drug in my life, that one forsure I salute myself there were many a time when I was tempted and could have done something but never have, and my intention is to keep it that way, especially those illegal ones.

This blog I started, before my whole world changed, was as far as I can remember going to be secret. Over the last year or so I realized that if it is really just a secret then no one will ever begin to realize how I think and feel about life.

Song lyrics, this subject has been visited over and over with me. I can't even wrap my head around the life changing moments I've had because of immature Blink songs. Sometimes they just click, like this ADTR song, I had probably heard it a million times before one day in the car about 7 months ago it hit me.

I’m a mess

That's the best way to describe it

Having no time to myself is the only way I can fight it

When I'm alone it's like I'm staring into a mirror

Don't know the person inside it and that's never been any clearer

I miss your family and I miss all our friends

If you had it to do over would you do it over again,

Cause I would, this meant something more to me

There's a hole in my heart where you used to be

I still wish you the best of luck, baby

And don't go thinking that this was a waste of time

I couldn't forget you if I tried

This just basically said to me no hard feelings, there's no reason for it, and also here's my bitch slap I wish you knew I'm not hurt anymore. I know I've posted this before. 

Or of course one of my favorites;

If I had a chance for another try 

I wouldn't change a thing

Sometimes it's like whoa what happened there that was good timing for that song. Anyway this just went into a random thought collaborating a few of my posts into one.

Anyhow, hopefully one day I can say that I've got my Masters in Accounting working for some firm and living in NY or maybe little old StG. Who knows what's to come with my job opportunities that will arise from being a CPA.