The Chronicles of Death.

Its so terrible to see my poor fish fight so hard for his life and in the end won't make it until morning. No one really knows why its so difficult to deal with but I'll explain now. When my mom was in the hospital for the first time I bought a beta fish (this is where my fish love came from). A week before she passed my fish died. So I associate that..it's probably weird yeah I can't control how long they live as long as I keep them fed and clean..it just hurts.

I know I'm a little over dramatic about this, but now you might understand a little more.

New York.

So lately I've been super busy and last week I decided I was going to send my Aunt Judy Utah truffles which I hope her boys don't eat them all or intercept them like they were saying they were going to haha. Though last week I didn't get them sent off, they are in a box, but I haven't actually sent them yet. Lately I have really missed New York. I love the fast pace and people that live there. Yeah I went there for 2 weeks for vacation, it's different than living there, but that is the kind of life style I like. IE the 17 credits and 20+ hour work weeks.

That is my thought take it as you will. One day I will live there I can promise you that.

FYI.

So lately working at Lin's has just been really frustrating, not my actual job or the people I directly work with, but the people that work outside of pharmacy.

Just gotta say never be rude to customers..even if the area you are working in is torn apart and a disaster. Yesterday my dad had an experience in the deli and straight said he won't go there if that same girl is working he would rather make an extra trip to Albertsons..That's bull to me because if another customer had the same problem it would be fixed, so today he is hopefully going to tell Jeff because no customer should be treated that way even employees.

Italians are very protective..its our nature, not that my dad can't hold his own..you all know that by now if you're reading this. But really this is my rant. I think, like I said, it's bull that someone would act like that when I know that right now as employees we are supposed to be as accommodating as possible to customers because of the construction.

So yeah this gets me.

My World of Thought.

Aww no more human race..

The answer to many zombie questions but, in truth who is preparing for this for reals. 

I have faith in humanity that this will not ever end the world. I also believe that God wouldn't create a creature like that, or turn beings related to himself into a monster.

Anyway that was my random thought. Probably because I am so dang tired I feel like a zombie. DON'T SHOOT ME!!

hehe oh I'm so funny.

By the way, I've become a happier person for the first time in over two years if you can't tell by this post. 

I seriously can relate so many unrelated things together and make them funny when I'm in a good mood. Well make myself laugh at least. 

I miss my mommy today. But I know she is laughing at the silly things I do and I know she would love the pottery I've been making. She was my true believer and fan. I miss that so much.

College and Other Stuff.

I really dislike my school schedule. The end.

Dr. Barrett is freaking insane. Just so everyone who is taking business classes knows...avoid him at all costs. He will straight call people ignorant and other really rude, inappropriate things. He's just a jerk.

Today I wanted to punch him in the face.

Blah Blah Blah...This is what classes have been like all day. All that needs to happen is for graduation to come. Oh I'm going to brag about myself, Deans List last semester and my Associates in May!!

Seriously so lost in Stats right now...great..

Oh man. So at work yesterday this person I work with, not to mention names, but a problem child hung up on a doctors office. So I said, "Op, you hung up on a doctors office," and he had a freaking spaz attack. Started saying he wasn't perfect and what not. I was just standing there thinking calm down dude..calm down. Anyway thought I would vent that. Never said I love everyone I work with *Disclaimer* hehe.

Thought of the Day.

In the end everything will be okay, if it's not okay, it's not the end.

Sometimes I get terrible feelings that I've done things the wrong way in my life. As in I made the wrong choice somewhere down the line and really messed everything up. But today I feel like those things that come to mind were supposed to happen because I wouldn't be where I am now. Which is closer to my family, especially my cousins and dad, in a job I love, and in the program I want to be in for college.

For a while now I've quoted the song This is the House that Doubt Built by A Day to Remember, " In the end it's not about what you have, in then end it's all about where you wanna go and the road you take to help you get there. I hope you think that's fair. Cause you've only got one life to lead, so don't take for granted those little things, those little things are all that we have." 

Truly those little things are everything. The other day I started crying because of the color of my cousins eyes, they look so much like her dads and my moms. Sure I'm an emotional wreak at times but I am still happy with my life the way it is. If I wasn't happy with my situation I know I could never succeed.

I just want everyone to take that little bit of advice.

Waves of Goodbye

We could reignite like fireflies
like an atom bomb at all hours

Sometimes I just think that in the end this will happen with those people that are supposed to be friends have a relationship or even just become acquaintances (by the way had to look up how to spell that word I feel smart.)

Everything happens for a reason and truthfully even if the reason sucks in the end it was supposed to be.

I just hope with all my heart that some day I will have the chance to see my mom again because truthfully if the world were to end I know I could never reach the height that she did in heaven. Someday it will happen I am going to make it happen.

Miss you mom.