Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Weigh

I'm so not comfortable with this but here goes..

This thought popped into my head the other day as I was waiting to take a test for my accounting summer courses, staring at my UGLY (aren't they always) drivers license picture: for the first time in my life my drivers license weight is wrong, well it was always wrong, but wrong for a good reason this time, I weigh less than it says...

I have always been "overweight," since I can remember. I don't ever remember being "bullied" for it, but I do remember that all the "pretty" girls had more friends than I did, even in elementary school and I knew why (I could have a terrible personality and just don't know it ;) ) It has always been a struggle for me with my self worth. I never imagined that I could be pretty like "they" were, because society has told me "fat" people are ugly, my ENTIRE life and I was "fat"..

Example: High school, I wore a size 9-11 jean I'm 5'5" and weighted 180 and I was still told I needed to lose 50 I repeat 50! pounds to be at the "right" size!

Intro to: Eff Your Beauty Standards

I have really struggled with my weight since my mom has passed away. I was sad, tired, lazy among other things and just did not care what I was eating, and I gained over 60 pounds in the last 5 years. -_-

On the bright side:
Recently I joined Team Beachbody and I have learned so much about being more than just "skinny," but healthy. It has been a god send. I still struggle with my Dutchman's cookies, EVERY DAY. But I'm actually learning that I can be happy where I'm at, as long as I'm working toward where I want to be, and counting the little successes. (I've lost 15 lbs since my wedding (my highest weight), and I'm feeling so successful because I'm not starving myself, I'm eating in smaller portions and healthier).

I just want you to know that the struggle is real. Everyone has their faults and self esteem problems for one thing or another, and it's not because you would be better as someone else or with someone else's eyes or nose or body or whatever you think should be better, it is because of the way society makes us think.

Remember that you are worth more than you think!

Mrs. Bishop